1. Of drinking at somebody elses expense. Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. Dirty toasts for St. Patrick's Day drunks. 40.) Now that youre old enough to be a father, I have only one thing to say to you: Live long enough to be a problem to your children., #10. May you be blessed with many wonderful years. This is literally a terrific day, because, it is your birthday. MDM, Fill the glass Its old news We cradle all our sorrows to sleep. 74.) So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven." Irish Proverb: "Drink is the curse of the land. Im sure your friends and relatives will love all of them, so please pick a few, bookmark this page, and keep coming back.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_6',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); This section has all kinds of totally awesome hilarious toasts. Heres to those who seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and cannot tell the difference., 23. Here's to the guys we fuck and screw. May you get a talking parrot who will keep all your secrets and provide an alibi. ORourke, When youre bleeding in the sand Wouldnt that be a nice toast to one of your real friends? Now that you're old enough to be a father, I have only one thing to say to you: Live long enough to be a problem to your children. To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there., #24. What Happened To The Goonies Pirate Ship? If you have never made a toast or a speech before, dont fret. A bird never flew on one wing. Nor suffer the bottle to blind reason's eyes. 10 Funny Drinking Toasts You Probably Haven't Heard. Sex and Love editor What's your favorite funny drinking toast? May your beautiful lips never blister! Best Drink Toasts and Cheers' - The Daily Meal We drink to your coffin. Now let's get to drinking! Three I'm under the table. 59.) I drank to your health in company, I drank to your health alone,I drank to your health so many times, I nearly ruined my own. "Here's to a long life and a merry one, a quick ending and a happy one, a good girl and a pretty one, a cold bottle and another one." #2. Heres How To Fix It And, Funny Irish toasts that are easy to memorize #IrishToasts #IrishDrinkingToasts #StPatricksDayToasts #IrishLife #IrishWeddings, Hilarious Irish Jokes That Will Make You Smile, Fun Things To Ask Alexa On St. Patricks Day, Essential Songs For Your St. Patricks Day Playlist, Dirty Irish Pick Up Lines That Will Probably Get You Slapped, Richard Belzers Last Words Were, F*** you, Motherf*****!. If you post mine. to somebody, somewhere, shes a pain in the ass. Here comes the gale If youre going to drink, drink with me., 4. . To a good selection, no rejection, a strong erection, a clean injection, and no infection!, 19. Anonymous, Heres to those who wish us well There is no set rule for starting a toast. 28.) Well we always have some good toasts when we take a shot, some of . Heres to the only day I will ever be a morning person, December 25th., #30. Heres toasting to your health. As for the rest, they can go to Hell. Pain makes you stronger.Tears make you braver.Heartbreak makes you wiser.And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. 3) Heres an insightful and profound yet witty quote toast. 13.) So lets get toasting with the help of our robotic friends! Drink up! In with the new. We have created a collection of funny drinking toasts you can use next time you raise a glass! Time is a waste of life. 23. In the third year of marriage, they both speak and the neighbors listen., #16. May the luck of the IrishLead to happiest heightsAnd the highway you travelBe lined with green lights.Wherever you go and whatever you do,May the luck of the Irish be there with you. The Devil is close behind Skl, meaning health, is used in at least four different countries. 31.) Heres to lobster tail and beer. Henry Sambrooke Leigh, Drink, for you know not when you came nor why I dont! but just for you, I will.. Surrounded by good friends -Here's to honor: to getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. --Air Force saying. However, I assure you that this page still has the best funny drinking toasts for friends youll find. And mine is the last voice you hear. ", "May we never go to hell, but always be on our way. Heres to honor hitting honor, getting honor, staying honor and if you cant cum in her cum honor., 17. Others are long but great toasts for drinking that are perfect for telling your close friends. The best ships are friendships and to those, we drink. #13. 80 Best New Year's Toasts for 2023 - Funny & Inspiring NYE Toasts Toasting is a rare opportunity to establish or strengthen your rapport with people in a social group. May you continue to thrive under pressure and always find a way to get things done, no matter how chaotic it may seem., Heres to the unicorns, the mythical creatures that grace us with their presence once in a blue moon. Heres to the big bull in the wood.He does the cows and heifers good.If it werent for his long, long rod,Then what would we do for beef, by God? May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past. 14.) Heres to the woman who wears the red shoes. 3.) Mirth and laughter Friends may come and friends may go, but liquor comes to soothe the blow., 22. 11. Scottish, With this glass, rich and deep Drinking Toasts Thread starter amxguy1970; Start date Apr 22, 2009; Apr 22, 2009 #1 A. amxguy1970 New Member. AI created all these toasts about aliens.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Do you like the funny toasts youve just read? One cant deny that Homer Simpson is for sure a clever guy. And tell between the two. Cheers to the future. -Here's to heat, not the kind that brings down shacks and shanties, but the kind that brings down bras and panties. Famous Irish Blessing. 60.) (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Copyright 2023 Imscouting.com.com All Rights Reserved. Four and twenty highballs 27 Best Drinking toasts ideas - Pinterest P.J. I drank to your health alone. May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there. Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink.The best ships are friendships, and to those ships, we drink. To help those who hate being put on the spot we've combed through Reddit and found 27 of the best toasts to use for almost any occasion. Heres the whores These are some handpicked toasts from the book by Ivor Ben McIvor aptly named Scottish Toasts. To lay on his coffin after hes dead. May you have nicer legs than yours under the table before the new spuds are up. Two at the very most. Heartbreak makes you wiser. Life is a waste of time. Thatll take our lives Anonymous, When the going gets weird Heres to the nights well never rememberWith our friends, well never forget. [15 August 2003. by Anonymous (it is in email archive --JP). variant of the Or anyone else whos buying. Heres to our wives and girlfriendsmay they never meet!Groucho Marx, 70.) If you Steal, may you steal a lovers heart. Enter your email address below to get Food News delivered straight to your inbox. till it's out of me and out of you. Mexican Drinking Toast - YouTube Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. "Here's champagne for our real friends, and real pain for our sham friends.". Slinte!' The Best Irish Toasts To Life, Family, Holidays, And Drinking [1970, 10.) When we drink, we get drunk. 11.) May you. To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. To the guy who says, My turn to buy! Like we alcoholics. Tolkien, 81.) The Devil knows youre dead. MGrooms94 10 yr. ago. 53.) Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.Frank Sinatra, 64.) So lets drink this drink To Honor! Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. His last words were Drink to me. Who am I to question genius?, 7. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty. "May you have all the happiness and luck that life can hold, and at the end of your rainbows, may you find a pot of gold.". Irish Toasts: Drinking, Funny Toasts, Christmas, New Years and Others But when the devil comes a knockin I drank to your health so many timesI nearly ruined my own. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life.So lets get wasted all of the time and have the time of our life. A cold drinkand another one. But the oceans not beer, and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and get messed up. Toasting is a social convention that takes place in both formal and informal social groups. 35. 39.) Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast. Heres to the glass we love so to sip,It dries many a pensive tear;Tis not so sweet as a womans lipBut a damned sight more sincere. However, in casual settings, the terms are often used interchangeably. 6. 27. To work the easiest device man has invented to escape boredom.. May we be in heaven half an hour before the Devil knows were dead., 26. Then youll also enjoy reading these funny friendship quotes. God, in his goodness, sent the grapes, to cheer both great and small; little fools will drink too much, and great fools none at all., 13. If you cheat, may you cheat death. Hes good people. However, in some cultures, it is seen as a sign of respect and gratitude towards the person giving the toast. If you go before me Enjoyed reading these college drinking toasts for friends? 51.) Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 9:12 am. 62.) If you are celebrating your second wedding, this quote might be the right one. Irish, Sing a song of sick gents 34.) Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. Life may throw us punches, and knock us on our ass, real friends are there to ease the pain and somehow make you laugh., 30. Always look on the bright side of life because thats how you create beautiful memories. Drinking Toasts: How to Say Cheers in 35 Different Languages 49.) May God bless old Ireland, that's this . But wheres the fun in that? to . 50.) Irish, May you never go to hell Wallace Irwin, Work like you dont need the money To h: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. Sometimes even sober. May the roof above us never fall in, and may we as friends never fall out. No Christmas celebration with the family is complete without a toast. Lift em high and drain em dry, to the guy who says, My turn to buy., 10. If God wanted us sober, He'd knock the glass . What are some witty toasts? - drinking wine alcohol | Ask MetaFilter Heres to a long life and a merry one, a quick ending and a happy one, a good girl and a pretty one, a cold bottle and another one., #2. But a whiskey glass and a fat girls ass are home sweet home to me. Toasts Quotes. Here are some hilarious and lighthearted drinking toasts you can make when youre out drinking with your friends. 13. Sure, you could just say cheers before taking a sip of your drink. Check out these fun and interesting beer quotes. What are your favorite drinking toasts? - AR15.COM Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. ", "Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink. Fields, What shall we drink to? May all your ups and downs be under the covers! But the oceans not beer and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and get messed up. Bye Bye "Cheers", Say Hello To These Funny Toasts Instead | Bored Panda Three of my favorite things. Naturally, they have quite a few that are just right for New Year's Eve. And All that we do, 24. 2. 5. ListCaboodle - Fun, Informative, And Cool Stories In List Format. And if we ever disagree, Well, fuck you and here's to me. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who dont!, 15. "Life is a waste of time. There is nothing like sarcastic, goofy toasts. Here is to love that never grows old, and if it does, lets hope by that time were too old to leave each other and start new marriages., #17. Theres many a toast Id like to say, If I could only think it, so fill your glass to anything, and, thank the Lord, Ill drink it., 14. Gentlemen! MDM, Drink like a lion 20. 5.) But that is why we like um! If youre nervous about meeting new people, a funny toast can help put everyone at ease. To the new couple: Never sweat the petty things, but always pet the sweaty things. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. Use. Often, we don't even think of ding something like offering a blessing or saying a few words anymore. C. Fields, 78.) 11:11a, 1/27/12. BloonWars 10 yr. ago. Thats right, our robot overlords have infiltrated the world of comedy. ; A (unique?) Remembering good St. Patrick, who by strategy and stealth, Drove all the snakes from Ireland. 10 Holiday Christmas Party Toasts and New Years Toasts Now that you know, here are some funny drinking toast ideas you haven't heard: 1. It has that sauciness of Irish drinking toasts, and it's better than just saying, "Drink up!" "My friends are the best friends. 33.) A good girl and an honest one,. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. Who loves not women, wine, and song,He will be a fool his whole life long. Which one is yours? A round to the worst Full of truth and full of fiction, please raise your glasses to our unbreakable addiction.. Thank you for reading. To nights we will never remember, with the friends we will never forget., 25. To our wives and girlfriends May they never meet., 8. Well, I hope you do, because I, Roman Marshanski, the founder of Humoropedia, wrote them. 36 Funny Wedding Toasts and Speech Quotes - Brides Typically, a toast is a type of cheer where someone raises their glass and gives a speech or salute to honor someone or something. May your life become better than the most delicious orange youve ever eaten. If yes, Im going to ask you for a small favor. Heres to the bastards Some people like to start with a quote or funny saying. ", "I would rather be here, with the people in this room, than with the best people in the world! With this collection you can add levity to any special event and will surely add some personal touch to it. Americas favorite drinks, the Bloody Mary. Heres to the next one And to the aliens, we raise our glasses and say: thank you for your guidance and manipulation. May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live. That the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out. Marriage is the eye-opener." Pauline Thomason. 33. Heres to the women who have used and abused us. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. Heres to staying positive and testing negative. Never declines one for the road. These toasts for drinking will surely bring a smile to everyones face who hears them. 47.) ", "To our wives and girlfriends may they never meet", "Here's to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will. Drink it down, down, down. Getting honor, keeping honor and if you can come in her, come on her (honor). If you like what you read, youll also like these Thanksgiving jokes. Who wont give up and wont give in While he is picking apples in the garden of Hell. Heres to the land of the shamrock so green,And heres to each lad and his darlin colleen,Heres to the ones we love dearest and most.May God bless old Ireland; thats this Irishmans toast. MDM, Our enemies never drink Dance like nobodys watching., #20. 2.) I want to thank you all for coming, especially my parents, [when you were conceived] years ago. Heres to a long life and a merry one,A quick ending and a happy one,A good girl and a pretty one,A cold bottle and another one. Pain makes you stronger. Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox. on So Im sure youll agree that these are the best toasts ever. ToastsforMen | ToastsforWomen | GayToasts | ToastAnecdotes | BawdyDefinitions | AntiquatedBawdyToasts | BawdyGermanToasts | CheersBigEars So fill your glass to anything Im sure youll agree with my opinion because its really witty. Irish Birthday Toasts. To Imgur! May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune., #22. Here's an Irish toast to your wedding: May the roof over your heads be as well thatched As those inside are well matched. To Hell: may the stay there be as fun as the way there. Raise a glass in my name Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. The day after. Samuel Johnson, I love to sing and I love to drink The 26 Drinking Toasts that everyone will enjoy. Top 10 best drinking toasts 1.) Youre a gentleman and a scholar and a good judge of bad liquor. 10.) And if you can't go to heaven, If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. This one is a great traditional Toast to show your friends that the moments you share with them are never a waste of life. Heres to a pal, no matter what the load Anonymous, Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. 6. 32.) 30 Most Funny Drinking Toasts You Probably Haven't Heard - Imscouting You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow May my stay there be as much fun as my way there! But those ships may sink. Funny Toasts: 55+ Best Your Friends Will Remember - Humoropedia.com Funny Wedding Toasts: 44 Hilarious One-Liners to End Your - Hitched But enough about me, heres to you. 12.) Heres to women, beer and song, may none of them be flat., 3. Than a bushel of roses white and red I used to know a clever toast.But now I cannot think it.So fill your glass to anything.And damn your souls, Ill drink it. "May you live as . And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. See more ideas about drinking toasts, drinking quotes, funny toasts. I would rather be with the people in this room than with the finest people I know. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy., #5. May the LORD bless you and keep you; Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. If you like them, please read this page until the end and follow me on Twitter at the link you can find below at the end of the page.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_11',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); This section of the page is totally awesome. Please share this page with your friends on social media right now because that will help me to continue publishing totally awesome stuff for you and everyone else. May the best of your past be the worse of your future. We asked Atlas . To us and our success as a group this past year, and to you and your families for health, peace, and more wonderful times in the coming year. ", "A toast to those who wish me well, and all the rest can go to hell. I win all If you are looking for some extra entertainment to lighten up your party, check out these 17 Drinking Games. Heres to doing and drinking, not sitting and thinking. What sobriety makes glum. May all your ups and downs be under the covers! Drink to fair woman, who, I think,Is most entitled to it;For if anything drives men to drink,She certainly can do it. May the road rise to meet you,May the wind be always at your back,And until we meet again,May God hold you in the hollow of his hand. Here are some funny Irish toasts that are easy to memorize. Here's to you. May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. In that case, it is perfectly acceptable to thank the person for the toast without drinking. May our friendship never fail To our sons. 44.) When you're wasted all the time. ", "Here's to you and here's to me The best of friends we'll ever be. 26. A quick death and an easy one. The first drink a man drinks is for thirst, the second for nourishment, the third for pleasure, and the fourth for madness., #3. It's time for a toast. Work like you dont need the money. After all, a good sense of humor is important in every relationship. 1) Heres one of those classic toasts from George Bernard Shaw. (Mark Twain). Little . Drinking Toasts That Will Improve Any Party - Mandatory They believed clinking glasses would release the gods blessings into their drinks. Thatll marry our wives MDM, Heres hoping you live forever Be sure to check out these other popular toasts lists: 2017-2023 Michael & Gabriel, Inc. - All Rights Reserved. A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.Ogden Nash, 68.) and email him if interested in writing about Sex and Love. Keep you rig between the ditches, and your dick in the bitches, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 5 Best DXRacer Gaming Chairs: Racing, Formula, And Drifting, 139 Best Funny Pick Up Lines To Make Her Laugh & Blush, 109 Osho Quotes That Will Inspire You To Live A Better Life, 99+ Really Good & Funny Tinder Conversation Starters You, Corny Jokes For Adults: 143 Best Funny That'll Make You LOL, 55 Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs. But dont worry, these toasts are still guaranteed to make you spit out your drink, fall off your chair, and leave you begging for more. May we never go to h but always be on our way. These HILARIOUS TOASTS Will Leave You - YouTube 20. And, of course, theyre just plain fun! May the lilt of Irish laughterlighten every load.May the mist of Irish magicshorten every road.And may all your friends rememberall the favors you are owed.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_13',605,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); 12. Shes lost her cherry but it doesnt mean a thing, cause shes still got the box that the cherry came in. If your friends share sarcastic humor, you can only win with this one. 75.) ", "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. Pockets full of rye I know its Christmas, but heres to another day of being at the office, because once again, Im doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit keeps getting all the credit.. Youll find the right toast for any occasion, including old Irish toasts and famous quotes to use as toasts. I raise my head in agreement. Editor/Publisher of Modern Drunkard Magazine. Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. There they are. And give to your friend this very day 555 Angel Number Meaning: Prepare for Big Changes 30 Most Funny Drinking Toasts You Probably Havent Heard. To every lovable girl in the land,I offer this little libation.For if ever they all left the country at once,Wed be left in a state of stagnation. Its on youse. Heres to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won.Heres to Americas colors, the colors that never run.May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.Jack Burton (movie king of drinking toasts).