The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. Now whether its romantic or a deep friendship is a different question. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. . Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come pride is a word about growth. Embrace Pride There are positive reasons to listen when someone says they are proud of you. My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. B Blue Apple Senior Member What a surprise! Renew your PET skills; complete the full course over flexible times; or one-off parenting sessions. But who are you to affirm? Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. A strong argument is a solid one. 9. Then there's emotional attraction. Why is this such a contentious phrase? Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? What if you really are proud of the person? 2. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. Thank you so much. 13. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. 8. 4. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. Last week, I went back to my college homecoming without my wife. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? Focus on what is positive in their life and avoid getting overly . Marilyn, My life changed the day I heard Mr. Rogers tell me he liked me just the way I was. (a short read). When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. The words hit me like a . JavaScript is disabled. I can take pride if I made a contribution, but I have to frame it that way. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. "Im proud of you!" If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. 16. I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. I'm so proud of your painting!" I am trying very, very hard not to implode. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. If you're a friend, it's friendly. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. 16. If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. 1. First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. Youll feel mad and resentful. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. . I have never said to my children, I am proud of you. My reason is that thry are responsile for their successes and I shoudnt take any credit for it. . This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. Larissa's writing has been published in Huffington Post Australia, Early Childhood Australia's blog 'The Spoke'; Her Canberra, Gordon Training International blog, and Generation Next blog. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. It makes a difference I think. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. Make sure to take the time to think about how you want to respond. #8: They say you need to change. Feb 10, . Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. I was very irritated and angry. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. It isnt. PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. You worked so hard, you really deserve that job! Looking for some extra money from your parents? Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? Its just a colloquialism for way to go or awesome sauce or good for you! No one means to be condescending or imply they got you there in some way. She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. said Christopher Robin. I dont think that without your support I can make it. If you feel stuck on getting that pride going or can't seem to identify the traits or qualities you're most proud of in yourself, go back in time. And thats enough for me. This is a very interesting discussion for me. But what does proud mean? 24. Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? Its very presumptuous. Interesting perspective. . You're not necessarily the expert. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. Im so glad to hear that. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. Its obviously a powerful word. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. Thanks. It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. Let them know that you are grateful for their support. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. Children whose parents constantly say "I'm proud of you" may grow to be adults who rely on other people's opinion of them for validation. Great to hear this. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. Family Tree. Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. Maybe Im mad, because it makes me feel like he thinks I wasnt doing enough before I started back at work- like carrying children inside of my body for nearly two years, plus birthing them, plus never sleeping, plus cleaning for HOURS upon HOURS everyday, plus cooking, plus plus plus wasnt enough to be proud of. Its 10 years later, and I hope that, by now, you have told your children, if you mean it, that you are proud of them. . For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. Did I do anything extraordinary? I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[970,90],'howdoirespondto_com-box-4','ezslot_3',180,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howdoirespondto_com-box-4-0'); Its important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. 6. Well, that truly makes my day. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. "), Friend: "I'm proud of you for being brave and standing up to your boss", As the friend who has found that courage, is this statement something you would appreciate? If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. I feel virtually murderous towards them. So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. Im proud of myself, too. It is arrogant. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. We had a really nice time. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. Here subject and object are the same person. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, but humility goes before honor. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. 8. May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. that he harrassed them or . Fascinating post in two regards. I again said. Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. Approval is different to acceptance. 15. My mother said it to me when I graduated from college and I will never forget it. Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. Go To Homepage. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. 5. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. (I'd prefer "I'm really impressed with report - I can see how much effort you put in, and it's going to be helpful for the organisation". If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. Children who are continually praised, or told "Im proud of you" may not believe their parent. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . For doing what Im supposed to do? I agree that its a phrase that is really reserved for the individual doing, or accomplishing something, i.e. 3. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. Youre the first person who is happy with it. 3. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. She states I always tell someone I am proud of them. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. So, lets get started! It will also help to give you a boost of confidence. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. 2. When someone says "I'm proud of you", they are expressing their admiration and respect for you - and that can be a powerful thing. (I'd prefer "Congratulations! They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. Thats what I think. You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). but not the p-word. I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude has many benefits. 14. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. Its all because of blessings and good wishes, I could do it. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. . Im so happy to have you in my life, thanks! Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? To be proud of yourself for your success is one thing, for another is to be proud, they had better have seen you come up through the trenches to witness that moment or to have been involved in the process. She reciprocated. "How I do love you!" I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. You reject that person's generosity. stories on the Parent Skills website are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. But it had a very positive impact on this one child. Wondering where that may be coming from. "We will always remember. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. And Ill encourage them to be proud. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? For what? The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. Thanks. 1. Thats my life goal. They just say it. It seems to me that the authors of the study used the phrase 'I'm proud of you' as a catch-all measurement, to reflect a parent's emotional connection with, and support, for, their child - and that it was this emotional involvement that provided protection against suicidal ideation. I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. 2. I have never regarded the word pride as implying that the one feeling it is somehow responsible for it. Its powerful. When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. but you do play a role in their success! (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) He's proud of you. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. What, do you really? I admire your ability to ___________. 25. posted by aimedwander at 4:27 PM on May 17, 2015 . Language gets corrupted. Required fields are marked *. "Well," you respond with enthusiasm, "I'm so excited right now. you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". Here are seven possible ways to interpret his compliment. Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. When someone says Im proud of you, first of all thanking them is the common response we usually have. 7. One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. The rest were manual labourers. But this will be seen as an overreaction. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. All Rights Reserved. 2. If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. They are much more aware and can see through false motivation easily. She and I are both married. I'm so proud of your painting!" So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us. Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. implying a mentor relationship. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. My experiences with people saying they were proud of me (or at least making me aware in other ways that they were proud of me) first came from my own parents, mostly my dad. Thanks, buddy! Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). 5. I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. Don't lose control of your emotions. And guess what? You know that I'm bound to see you. I believe many people do not understand and appreciate the expression Im proud FOR you. "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. does a sump pump pit need to be vented, nursing home discharge note example, madison county police beat,