carnac the magnificent curses carnac the magnificent curses

The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. (crowd cheers). If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. A: Elmer, Roger and Billy Carter. Clarnac: This crowd was applaud for a train wreck. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Madame Kitty. A: Once is not enough. A: Mr. Coffee. Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". Browse more quotes by famous person's name. juice? We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. A: Unleash. "Knickerbocker"Q. "You Light Up My Life.". (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. Key'n'Stroke. Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. . "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . , The Question: Whats the only way to get your spouse to listen to you? Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. Q: What does President Carter say to Billy on Air Force Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. dickory? The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? . Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. The Answer: A condor, a bald eagle and a snail darter. Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your A: Blazing Saddles. , The Question: What is Bill OReillys latest book in his Killing Series? Q: What happens when your lorne rots? A: Black feet. Or are you just happy to see me? Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe In article <12@gitpyr.UUCP> gra@gitpyr.UUCP (Mark W Fouraker) writes: Paddy Chayevsky's "The Tenth Man" contains several curses on daughters-in-law. May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. A: Old wive's tale. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. A: Over 15 billion served. The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. Unable to come to an agreement over alimony, God intervenes to help Adam and Eve divvy up their marital belongings. Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune , The Question: Name a person who only says Jesus when he stumps his toe in the dark. Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? The character was introduced in 1964. "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. #10. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . A: Ultra-conservative. "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. [1] A: Evon Guligan. A: Superbowl. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! us? Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. A: Eight is enough. . Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. Line: 192 Hand made. night? A: Bedbug. It is original material for the most part. May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. . The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. Is that a reptile? (croud cheers) #10. A: Mount Baldy. A: The Sugarland Express. 2006 | CC. A: Rub-a-dub-dub. The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". . A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? A: Beethoven's Fifth. There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. A: Skalliwags. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Jaques Cousteau. . Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance! Line: 208 kaleido? Hoffa. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. View all. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? A: The Newlywed Game. Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American dee? Only this curse was not humorous at all. During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. KeyCastr. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? a #2 mayonnaise Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? A: Ironware. pre built n scale train layouts. on a country? My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? a #2 mayonnaise A: Bible belt. Hand made. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? A: Short eyes. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. A: Planter's Punch. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". We have in the building tonight that great visitor from the East. Carnac the Magnificent. A: Pipe dream. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. 200 views, 3 upvotes. A: "Hi diddly dee." Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php share. . CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. . May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. A: The big ten. Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . doctors. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. , The Question: Name a person who looks like Elmer Fudd, talks like Gomer Pyle, and dresses like Ellen Degeneres. A: High rollers. Curses, Curses, Curses . , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? these envelopes, says? "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? Tell a friend Ask a question. I hope it makes you laugh. Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC Box 4, Folder 46. Ed McMahon: Shogun. The character was introduced in 1964. Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly No more years! In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and Similar Items. A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! Shriver. A: Shareholder. Q: What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand CARNAC: May your only son become a Pointer Sister. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. A: The American people. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? A: Fun with Dick and Jane. The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." One of his characters, "Carnac the Magnificent," drew on his early entertainment work as a magician in Nebraska. , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. A: Mop and Glow. They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. by BMcCJ. A: Damnation Alley. , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? lizard. sister's hooped skirt. ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? What is missing here is his delivery. The Answer: He unfollowed Putin on Twitter. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Get Image Page 1 of 4 Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? Paul? CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. The Question: Name three famous puppets. Q: Name three things that go to the bathroom outdoors. One? The answer was always an outrageous pun. Get Image May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. A: The ZIP Code. A: Stick 'em up! (Crowd cheers) #10. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com A: Kris Kristofferson CARNAC: May a weird doctor join you at the hump of a camel. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? They've been kept in Falling in Love Again (1980) with Susannah York, The Hollywood Knights (1980 . https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. A: Trapper John. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. The character was introduced in 1964. Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. Zippo? CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman The creative innuendos and delivery from Carson proved that the key to humor lies in making an inappropriate joke! A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. seen them before. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Q: What do crabs get high on? Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? Q: Describe the Nixon income tax deductions. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. seats. Commissary. this year? Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". Sunday, 16 December 2018. A: Gatorade. mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Mouse over chart for play descriptions. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? Box 4, Folder 48. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? A: Roots. May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. A: The CIA. Show"? Q: Where is the American dollar headed? Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. Carson 500's, The 1985. A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\"